“Writing this song took me right back to those moments — the fear, the fists, the fury…”
Darren Deadbeat
When I was a kid, I got bullied.
Not just the odd insult — I mean proper, relentless bullying. The kind that sticks to your bones and shapes the way you see yourself. Back then, I didn’t know how to handle it. I’d bottle up all the anger, all the shame, until it exploded. That’s what I used to call a blackout — that moment where the red mist took over and I wasn’t really there anymore.
It was survival. But it also scared me. Because I didn’t want to be that person who lost control.
Fast forward a few decades — I’m in my forties now — and guess what? The bullies never really went away. They just changed faces.
They’re not kids in school anymore; they’re the ones running things. The bigots shouting online. The corporations squeezing people dry. The governments trying to control what we say, think, and feel. The same kind of power, just wearing suits instead of school uniforms.
And yeah, that same anger still bubbles up sometimes.
But here’s the difference now — I don’t blackout anymore.
“Blackout” is about that journey — from losing control to owning it. It’s about refusing to give those bullies, old or new, the power to drag me down into that rage again. It’s about standing firm, keeping my clarity, and using the fire for something creative instead of destructive.
Writing this song took me right back to those moments — the fear, the fists, the fury — but also the strength that came from surviving it. Every note, every lyric, is me reclaiming that part of myself.
I know a lot of you have been there too. You’ve been pushed, mocked, cornered. You’ve felt that pressure building up inside, ready to burst. Maybe you’ve even blacked out once or twice — not necessarily with violence, but in your own way — shutting down, fighting back, burning out.
This song is for you.
It’s a reminder that we can be angry without losing ourselves. That standing up to bullies — whether they’re in the playground or in power — starts with not letting them take control of our emotions.
I’m still angry. I always will be. But now, that anger fuels me instead of consuming me.
So when you listen to “Blackout,” I hope you feel some of that too — the fight, the fire, and the focus. Because we don’t have to blackout anymore. We can turn that darkness into something louder, stronger, and real.
Thanks for listening, and for standing with me.
Stay loud. Stay in control.
— Darren Deadbeat
Blackout is officially released to streaming platforms on 26th November 2026 but you can get it now from Bandcamp!
Darren Deadbeat 